Sometimes origin stories take 10 years — Ranking the episodes of Smallville, Episodes 184-169

After the positive response to my ranked list of Lost and Office episodes, I just had to do another. Heck, even if there wasn’t a positive response for those two features, I probably would have done another one anyway because I love lists. I’ve been thinking about what series to tackle for nearly a month and finally decided on the one that I may be more familiar with that any other television series on air and one that is very difficult to organize based on the sheer number of episodes alone — Smallville.

Click here to see my introductory post in this series.

Big response to the first entry to this list, let’s hope that continues with this next batch.

184. “Kinetic” (S1): Giving Whitney something to do was a smart decision. Kryptonite-powered tattoos, not so much.

183. “Thirst” (S5): Most of the tweets and comments I received from the first entry were about my decision to not put this episode at the very bottom, and for good reason. However, this episode was at least fun to watch, with its weird Chloe voice-overs, Carrie Fisher guest turn and general camp. This low on the list, those things can help raise an episode a few rungs. But make no mistake: “Thirst” was an awfully bad hour of television.

182. “Reaper” (S1): I tried really, really hard to not shove all of season one’s more simplistic and goofy episodes down here at the bottom, but aside from the few beats with Whitney and his father, this episode was totally forgettable.

181. “Fade” (S5): This episode played up the Clark-Lex animosity fine, but I could never swallow much of the Lex-Lana relationship or how it affected Clark emotionally.

180. “Shimmer” (S1): Scornful women coming after Lex is a story well the series often went into in the bald villain’s time on the series, oftentimes to sort-of lame results. Just like this one.

179. “Hypnotic” (S5): This episode brought the end of the Clark-Lana relationship, even though they’d be breaking up for a few episodes in a row. Unfortunately, the hypnotizing took any real heft out of the break up, just like the series always tended to do with those two crazy kids.

178. “Witness” (S2): I have nothing against this episode, it just doesn’t bring much to the table. It’s not overly bad or overly entertaining, either. Meh.

177. “Sleeper” (S7): I actually think this episode is kind of fun and I am glad Jimmy was given the star treatment he deserved, but randomly turning him into a secret agent was absolutely ridiculous. Ab-so-lutely ridiculous.

176. “Static” (S6): Again, great that Jimmy was given some love, but the villain is one of the series’ dumbest and pushing Clark out of the main story is never, ever a good approach.

175. “Visitor” (S2): The idea of Clark running in to more Kryptonians isn’t totally out of the ordinary based on what we have seen over the series’ run, but it was obvious from the get-go that Cyrus was never going to be that person, so this episode is full of false drama.

174. “Tomb” (S5): I respect that this episode tried to pursue Chloe’s possible insanity and it actually works as a creepy murder mystery, but it was the type of episode that doesn’t work with the usual Smallville vibe. It felt like the series’ producers and writers had watched a disc of Supernatural on DVD and then broke a story idea.

173. “Mercy” (S5): And just as the TPTB surely ingested some Supernatural before “Tomb,” they must have had a “Saw” marathon before producing the Lionel-centric “Mercy.” Man, the villain’s goofy, tin foil mask was enough to make me sigh.

172. “Wither” (S6): Deadly vines! Lexana sex! Ew.

171. “Slumber” (S3): I can’t even describe what the hell happened in this episode, despite its odd entertainment value.

170. “Hug” (S1): Another okay season one episode that I can’t say I hate, but couldn’t find anything overwhelmingly redeeming about it to put it any higher.

169. “Devoted” (S4): Season four was as light-hearted as the series gets, and this one was pretty stupid. However, Clark going to the pool party with Lois and Chloe and having to hook up with the cheerleader as a way to get information? Awesome.

Past entries

195-185

9 thoughts on “Sometimes origin stories take 10 years — Ranking the episodes of Smallville, Episodes 184-169

  1. Great continuation of the list, though I freely admit I loved “Thirst” because it seemed to be knowingly bad… and “Hug” actually landed as one of my favorite episodes of Season 1, oddly enough.

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  2. I totally agree with you about Visitor! I mean, we were suppossed to believe throughout a good portion of the episode that this Cyrus kid could be Kryptonian? Bad casting! They should have at least got someone who was tall and built like Clark, not some kid who wasn’t even close to being Tom Welling’s height!

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  3. DUDE!

    Have to stronglt disagree with your opinions on HUG and WITNESS. Kyle Tippet is to this day my second favorite meteor freak and one character I asways wish had returned to the series. Also, I just love the opening scene with Clark, Lana and Chloe horseback riding. It was simply Smallville taking advantage of the substantial budget they had at their disposal and I just love these season 1 quirky Superman-hanging-out-with-his-friends scenes. Clark finding out he’s bulletproof is an added bonus and eventhough I knew nothing was going to happen to Clark, for a second, I thought he wasn’t gonna get up. Lastly, it’s the first time we had a “I found out your secret and will now conviniently forget” plot that has become a Smallville staple.

    As for WITNESS, it had the “Holy Crap!” factor. Sheriff Ethan was the shooter. Never saw that mess coming!

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